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The other way to treat early ejaculation is with the squeeze technique. A man starts this method with masturbation, and then, when successful, progresses to intercourse.

The squeeze technique is similar to the stop-start method, with one important difference: When a man senses he is going to ejaculate, he puts his first and second fingers on the top of the head of the penis and places the thumb just below this area (see illustration). He squeezes for several seconds, until the feeling of imminent ejaculation goes away. (If the man has begun to ejaculate, it’s important to stop squeezing, because to continue to do so can cause the semen to build up too much pressure in the urethra. Not only is this uncomfortable, but it can occasionally cause bleeding.) Obviously, the squeezing can be done by the partner, and some lovers prefer this. The couple can resume making love when the man feels in control again.

Some people don’t like the squeeze technique because if the couple is having intercourse, the man must take his penis out of the vagina in order to squeeze or be squeezed. An alternative is to squeeze the base of the penis for roughly 15 seconds. The advantage of this method is that the penis may remain inside the woman while it is squeezed, if she is on top.

It’s important to realize that ejaculation does not mean you and your partner can’t continue to caress and be close without further intercourse.

Regardless of the method you try, the following suggestions are helpful.

• Use as many squeezes or stops as you need—as you practice, you’ll need fewer and fewer.

• Apply pressure slowly and firmly, but don’t squeeze so hard that it hurts.

• Don’t become concerned about occasionally ejaculating too soon.

• Keep communication open and clear with your partner. If she gets a little frustrated by the exercise, explore ways of satisfying her that don’t include intercourse, like oral sex.

This is a good place to lay to rest the popular belief that the way to last longer is to think of something else when you’re having sex. Some men count backwards from a thousand or think of baseball scores or other unromantic topics. Not only does this method inhibit your enjoyment, it also prevents you from identifying the point of ejaculatory inevitability—a sense you need to have if you’re going to delay ejaculation. If a man wants to gain control over his ejaculations, he needs to concentrate on the sensations he is feeling.


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